So, I'm sure anyone reading this has read "The 20 Male Poses of Facebook" over at 2b1b. If not, do so. It's hilarious. Currently I'm rocking the "I love my girlfriend (wife) Shot". Well I do...so shut up.
Anyway, I can't help but talk about another ridiculous trend that seems to have started because everyone and their mother has a digital camera and a Facebook account now. It's a pose that's been plaguing the pages of Facebook photo albums for years now: The Sorority Squat.
Alright, you look like idiot hookers. Amirite or Amirite? I mean, I ALMOST get it when there are two rows of people in a group picture. When you're in an open area with a wide open back ground, though, you're an idiot if you're in this pose. It just doesn't make sense. Look at the first three pictures above again. Why in the world would you squat for any of these pictures? I especially like the picture with the guy standing upright and the girls all squating. Just further proof that this is XX chromosome specific.
I'd say it's probably 98% femailes who partake in this pose. I can't imagine watching a butch of Rugby playing dudes lean in and squish their man boobs together for a group picture. I mean, that's all you ladies are doing, right? It's a sad attempt to show off your boobs. I'm not going to be convinced otherwise, so don't even try. Also, if you're wearing a skirt and squating, you know what is going to show. Stop being slooty.
There are other types of group pictures that seem retarded to me too. Why the hell do people feel the need to take a group picture every time they're all in the same place anyway? I don't exactly get the whole idea of saying, "Alright! Everyone get together so we can get a group picture on this sidewalk!" "YEAH THIS WILL BE AWESOME!" "BE SURE TO TAG EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK LATER!" "OMG I MADE A FUNNY FACE LET ME SEE!" "MAN I LOOK SO DUMB, HAHAHA!"
Tell me you can look at that picture and not see the above dialogue taking place. This picture pretty much has every typical person in every typical pose ever overused for Facebook/Myspace.
From Left to Right:
-Teeny Bopper chick throwing a gang sign: check
-Angry guy shooting the finger: check
-Normal smiling person: check
-Guy looking off into the distance like he wasn't prepared for the picture: check
-Girl with face that says, "HEY, PICTURE!": check
-Tongue out & peace signs: double check
-Mr. Serious Face: check
-Mr. WE'RE ALLLLLL HERE: check
-Thumbs up for a good time: check
Anyone want to bet that 2-3 years ago all these kids were saying they were "straight edge" (XXX 'TIL DEATH!!!!) and now they all smoke, drink, do each other on a nightly basis? Sheep.
Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is...nothing really. Group pictures used to feel much more...needed...before the whole digital camera/facebook picture craze, though.
I can only think of a few times when it is necessary to take a group picture. They are as follows:
Sports team pic:
By the way, how awesomely patriotic is this family? USA! USA! USA! Also got to give a shout out to the couple wearing photo print t-shirts in the back center. High fives all around.
Wedding group picture:
There are others of course. But I just really think the over use of the group picture is getting a little out of hand. So, stop squating, leaning in, and throwing up gang signs. Stand up straight and look like normal members of society.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot about my favorite group picture of them all...
The Corgi Group Picture:
Can't beat that. Not now. Not ever.